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Gender Equality

PAVE 013: Swaggarlicious- using football to induce confidence and self-worth in people suffering from mental health issues with Manisha Tailor

2018-06-28

Manisha Tailor is a trained Head teacher who previously worked as a deputy head in a primary school. She has always had a passion for football and her personal experience of becoming a young carer 20 years ago inspired her to develop work around mental health using sport. In 2013 she received the Woman in Football Award at the Asian Football Awards and was honoured with an MBE in the 2017 new years honours list for her services to football anf diversity in sport. She tutors for The FA delivering equality education as well as one of few female ethnic minority women who holds part time contract as an academy coach at Queens Park Rangers Football Club.

She has recently published a teaching resource to help teachers and parents create open dialogue around different issues concerning wellbeing and our mental health. It is titled “Child in Mind” and available to purchase on Amazon.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 013 with Manisha Tailor from Swaggarlicious please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2

About your host:

Alianne Looijenga is an international speaker motivating organizations to effectively help survivors of partner abuse, child abuse and sexual abuse. She is also the founder of aliannelooijenga.com and the Professionals against violence (PAVE) podcast. Alianne is a survivor of sexual abuse (including rape); partner abuse; and is the mother of twins who were abused by their biological father after a judge granted him visitation rights when the children were three years old.

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

0-5:00 About Manisha and Swaggarlicious

12:00 FA’s equality education, football for all, the FA steering group

17:50 Running a business on your own earnings

20:00 How football helped Manisha, because football was a way for Manisha to help her brother with his disease. Manisha’s twinbrother became nonverbal after a series of traumatic events and long term bullying.

23:00 Becoming a young deputy head, losing feeling with the game, fueling anger in wanting to be succesful and finding a way to cope with anger, frustration and sadness.

Using football to reconnect with her brother and her emotions.

What harm would it do when I would reconnect with the game?

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28:00 Chosing for her brother instead of her own dreams, untill he is happy and can take care of his self

29:00 Finding peace and being happy with her life

31:00 Coping with feelings of guilt towards her brother

I am a lot happier with understanding how to be happy even with that situation

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32:00 How Manisha lives her life to the fullest within the situation she is given

33:00 How children came up with the name Swaggarlicious

Adversity and challenges are part of life. If they can develop confidence and resillience they can overcome obstacles and become changemakers.

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38:00 Empowering girls to become changemakers

I want to get them off and make them become professional football trainers

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39:00 Manisha’s ultimate goals and dreams to:

Work fulltime at a professional footballclub and not to only empower those who suffer from mental health but support government bodies, service providers that in the years to come would be an accomplisment.

44:00 what Manisha needs to continue and ways we can support:

45:00 being author of “child in mind” book

47:00 Interesting read: “the effective board member” from Karl George

TWEETABLES:

What harm would it do when I would reconnect with the game?

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I am a lot happier with understanding how to be happy even with that situation

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Adversity and challenges are part of life. If they can develop confidence and resillience they can overcome obstacles and become changemakers.

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I want to get them off and make them become professional football trainers

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MORE ABOUT MANISHA and SWAGGARLICIOUS

The website is: http://swaggarlicious.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/swaggarlicious/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Swaggarlicious_

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swaggarlicious_/?hl=nl

Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Child-Mind-teaching-understanding-wellbeing/dp/152721852X

MORE ABOUT PAVE

Website: https://www.aliannelooijenga.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aliannespeaks/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga/

SPONSORS

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to help us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 013 with Manisha Tailor from Swaggarlicious please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2

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PAVE 012: Domestic abuse training & sexual violence training in every organisation with Lyndsey Dearlove from UK says NO MORE

2018-06-11

Lyndsey Dearlove has spent the past couple of years developing UK SAYS NO MORE – a national initiative to raise awareness of domestic abuse and sexual violence in the UK and Bright Sky – a domestic abuse and sexual violence awareness and prevention app for victims of abuse, professionals and for those who are concerned about a friend, colleague or family member. Prior to this Lyndsey has worked with victims of domestic abuse, sexual violence and violent crime for over 15 years.

She has managed domestic abuse outreach support services, refuges, children and family services, Independent domestic violence services (IDVA) and co-ordinated multi-agency risk assessment conferences (MARAC’s). During her time as the manager of the Hillingdon domestic abuse outreach service, she developed the award winning Butterfly Project which is an adaptable model for survivor led – peer support groups. Lyndsey has extensive experience in creating and delivering training around gender constructs, peer support, young people and abuse, risk assessment and management, domestic abuse and sexual violence.

She has delivered training to the Metropolitan police, Local authorities, not for profit organisations, universities and colleges and most recently the National Football League (NFL), where she created and delivered training around gender, domestic abuse and sexual violence. Lyndsey enjoys bringing people to together; to share experiences, ideas, knowledge and expertise and truly believes that only by working together can we end domestic abuse and sexual violence.

ABOUT HESTIA – Hestia delivers services across London and the surrounding regions, as well as campaign and advocate nationally on the issues that affect the people we work with. Last year they supported over 9,000 men, women and children. This includes victims of modern slavery, women and children who have experienced domestic abuse, young care leavers and older people. From giving someone a home, to helping them to get the right mental health support, they support people at the moment of crisis and enable them to build a life beyond a crisis. Hestia is supported by more than 460 volunteers across London who provide specialist skills such as art therapy, yoga, IT, gardening and cooking, as well as befriending and fundraising. Hestia is proud to be the home of UK SAYS NO MORE, bringing together a diverse coalition of individuals, charities, businesses and public sector organisations to campaign for an end to domestic abuse and sexual violence.

UK SAYS NO MORE is a national campaign launched to raise awareness of domestic violence and sexual assault across the UK. The campaign was launched by London charity Hestia in 2016. UK SAYS NO MORE seeks to unite and strengthen a diverse community of members of the public and organisations nationwide to actively take a stand against domestic violence and sexual assault under one powerful, visual symbol. The campaign provides open-source tools and resources for individuals and organisations to take action and get involved in ending domestic violence and sexual assault. Together we can challenge the myths and misconceptions around these issues, share resources and information, and ultimately work together to make real positive change.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 012 with Lyndsey Dearlove please click here:

About your host:

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

0-19 minutes: About Hestia, UK says no more, Lyndsey Dearlove

20.00 NFL ambassadorprogram where football players teach other boys about what masculinity means in this society, concent in healthy relationships and what their role is to end the violence against women.

“If I am unable to drive someone home in a car why are you able to decide if you are able to have consensual sex or not”

25:00 No more hub

26:00 UK says no more week

30:00 When Lyndsey is old and is looking back at her life, what does she want to have accomplished?

34:00 minuten Victim blaming “Knowledge is nothing untill you share it “.

“We have to have domestic abuse training and sexual violence training in every single organisation”

36:00 listening without judging

37:00 an exercise Lyndsey always does with her students to let them feel the reality survivors face when leaving an abuser.

40:00 Managing UK says no more and working with surviving children

45:00 The importance of education

49:00 How to leave your work at work

50:00 Taking time to reflect

51:00 With all things going on, what is Lyndsey most eager to solve

57:00 Advice inspiration and a succes story

TWEETABLES:

We have to have domestic abuse- and sexual violence training in each organisation – Lyndsey Dearlove

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Can we have another look at the system, cause the system currently doesn’t work – Lyndsey Dearlove

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Knowledge is nothing untill you share it. – PAVE podcast with Lyndsey Dearlove

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If you are unable to drive someone home, how can you decide if you are able to have consensual sex – Lyndsey Dearlove

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MORE ABOUT UK SAYS NO MORE

Our website is: http://uksaysnomore.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/UKSAYSNOMORE/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/UKSAYSNOMORE

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uksaysnomore/?hl=en

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

www.aliannelooijenga.com

SPONSORS

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 012 with Lyndsey Dearlove from UK says NO MORE please click here:

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PAVE 011: Fighting your own battles first before you can save others and become a superwoman next door with Upasana Chauhan

2018-05-15

Upasana Chauhan is the founder of Superwoman Next Door. She is an UN Representative of Manup Campaign, spread across 23 countries to involve men in the battle of Gender Equality. Upasana send me an impressive list of 14 organisations/projects she is involved with including many from the UN, but it would be a too long (although impressive) list to share on this blogpage. If you want to read it for yourself, click here: http://www.womenshealthsection.com/content/documents/Upasana_Chauhan_Resume.pdf

Upasana’s dream and passion is to encourage and empower every girl next door to be courageous to DARE TO DREAM and be her own superwoman to get those dreams. She is on the drafting committee for the Newyork City for CEDAW bill.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 011 with Upasana Chauhan please click here: PAVE podcast with Upasana Chauhan on Itunes

About your host:

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

1:24 : Growing up in India

Your soul knows..

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2:50 Paving your own path and paving the path for others

3:15 NGO “I do dare”, ManUp campaign of the UN, Upasana’s career so far.

We can’t stop violence against women unless we involve men in the cause

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7:00 Is there a change within the men of India, about how they view women?

7:30 How men teach other men about women’s rights

8:00 Losing your identity as a woman when you marry in India

10:00 What Upasana discovered when she was looking for an arranged marriage

12:00 Passing values on to your children

14:50 What drives Upasana

Maybe I can inspire them so that one day, they can come out of that trap too

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21:00 When women are objects and have no rights

24:00 How do you re-energize when you fight so hard for other women’s rights?

32:00 Why people believe that they are entitled to judge another human being

33:00 Rediscovering your identity

35:00 Female suicides in India

I can do anything for them, but I can’t go to their homes with them. Because that is a battle that each one has to fight for themselves.

I had to fight the battle myself inside my own home first. Then only I can fight it globally. You have to first fight it for yourself.

The decision to change has to come from within – Alianne Looijenga

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40:00 The importance of financial independence

Take that fear out of your body. Throw the fear out. Fear controls you. You get scared what happens if I do this, or what happens if I do that.

44:00 Upasana’s advice if you want to change other people’s lives

46:00 Why your work should not be about you

48:00 When you respond with kindness and love to people who put you down, you include them into your journey

Why are we not talking about the common woman nailing her own thing? Upasana Chauhan

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51:00 How we can support Upasana by sharing stories about women who live next door to us.

“Alianne is equally Oprah Winfrey as Oprah Winfrey is Alianne.

You are your own superwoman in your own way doing your own amazing thing. So is Oprah. The only difference is that the whole world knows Oprah, and your neighbor knows Alianne. But is Alianne any less than Oprah? No. And that’s why I started SuperWoman Next Door.” – Upasana Chauhan

59:00 Initial ending: yeah kidding, we talked further

1:03:00 Get out of that thing that holds you down

Be your own superwoman. Don’t wait for someone to save you. Nobody will come and save you. You will have to save yourself. There is no prince charming. And even if there is, he can come and join you while you save yourself. But you don’t have to sit and wait around. You have to take control.

1:08:00 Being grateful in difficult times, ending.

TWEETABLES:

Breaking that ceiling, breaking that door, breaking that silence.. that gives me strength – Upasana Chauhan

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Because I know how it feels, I don’t want another having to go through that feeling – Upasana Chauhan

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I had to fight for my own identity, I have it today – Upasana Chauhan

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You cannot call them family if they are the ones that cause you pain – Upasana Chauhan

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I don’t need you, you need me – Upasana Chauhan

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Start with what you have – Upasana Chauhan

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Why are we not talking about the common woman nailing her own thing? – Upasana Chauhan

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MORE ABOUT UPASANA AND SUPERWOMAN NEXT DOOR

https://twitter.com/upasanac?lang=en

https://www.facebook.com/superwomannextdoor/

Superwoman Next Door website

To submit stories to Upasana:

superwomannextdoor@gmail.com

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

Www.aliannelooijenga.com

SPONSORS

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 011 with Upasana Chauhan please click here: PAVE podcast with Upasana Chauhan on Itunes

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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International Women’s day

2018-03-08

International women’s day

Here is to women. The one that got up this morning. The one that faces inequality, fear and desperation. The one that is smashing ceilings and breaking the silence. The one with the heavy load to bear but who still manages to smile to her loved ones. The one that shows courage because she believes in her cause although she is uncertain of the outcome. The one that stands up for other beings. The one that chooses kindness over bitterness. The one that chooses to put her ego aside for the greater good. The one that takes care of others. To the woman battling poverty. To the one who creates a future for herself. The one that decides how she wants to respond to things instead of letting other peoples behaviour influencing her respons. To the women who support each other. The one that, despite everything, just tries one more time – and knows that if this fails, she will try yet another time.

To Mandy, Kerry, Lisa, Olivia, Monica, Sabin, Kirthi and Jessica.

To women.

You. Are. Phenomenal.

Pictures from: https://www.boredpanda.com/inspirational-quotes-womens-day/

PAVE 009: Peace, the Red Elephant Foundation, Gender Equality, and how to inspire people into action with Kirthi Jayakumar

2018-02-02

Kirthi Jayakumar is an activist, artist and writer from Chennai, India. She founded and runs the Red Elephant Foundation, a civilian peacebuilding initiative that works for gender equality through storytelling, advocacy and digital interventions. She is a member of the Youth Working Group for Gender Equality. Kirthi is the recipient of the US Presidential Services Medal (2012) for her services as a volunteer to Delta Women NGO, and the two-time recipient of the UN Online Volunteer of the Year Award (2012, 2013).

Kirthi is also the recipient of the Global Peace Prize 2016, from WeSchool, and the Rising Star of India Award, 2016, from We The City India. Her second book, The Dove’s Lament, made it to the final shortlist for the Muse India Young Writers’ Literary Award. Kirthi was recently invited to the United State of Women Summit at the White House in Washington DC, as a nominated changemaker. She is also a Zen Doodler, and her works have been commissioned by corporate establishments, non-profits and art collectors world over.

To listen to the PAVE podcast Episode 009 with Kirthi Jayakumar please click here: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.professionalsagainstviolence.com%2F%3Fp%3D932

About your host:

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Kirthi suffered different kinds of abuse: sexual abuse, bullying, racism and ethnic violence. It made her empathy driven but it had a major impact. She chose silence over articulation of the things that happened to her with manifestations on her health as a result.

When you keeps things bottled up it will affect your health – Kirthi Jayakumar at PAVE podcast

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How Kirthi transformed because of the New Delhi rape and the wisdom of her mother:
You have two options: you can feel terrible about this, you can feel depressed, you can mourn about it, you can do whatever you want, fine. Or you can do this for some time and pick up your life. Whatever it is that you do, remember it is your choice and whatever you choose, I am with you.
Kirthi thought deeply for six months about all that happened, learned about alternative healing, read and thought a lot and after six months she gave her mom (on her birthday) the gift of Kirthi’s empowerment and founded the Red Elephant Foundation.

Quote: Elephants are matriarchal so the’ve got it on with gender equality before we have- PAVE podcast

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United state of Women (9:00 minutes)
The secret about how Kirthi can accomplish so much per day
Female infanticide (12:00 minutes)
Why Kirthi chose fiction to tell her stories to inspire people into action (13:00 minutes)
The writing proces of the writer of Dimashq (15.00 minutes)

– Syrian conflict

– A different approach in thinking about war and conflict

Kirthi’s biggest dream (19:00 minutes)

Why peace is so important for Kirthi (21:00 minutes)

You have male privilige but you can use that to prevent violence, you can choose to be a great ally for equality

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Alianne’s story regarding to health and trauma (35 minutes)

MORE ABOUT KIRTHI AND THE RED ELEPHANT FOUNDATION

MORE ABOUT KIRTHI

http://www.redelephantfoundation.org/

https://www.instagram.com/femcyclopaedia/

https://www.instagram.com/kirthipotamus/

The Doodle Kirthi created for me (I am still humbled to be featured next to these women): https://www.instagram.com/p/BSzC5e8A-R9/?taken-by=femcyclopaedia

Kirthi’s books, including the Dove’s lament and the doodler of Dimashq: https://www.amazon.com/Kirthi-Jayakumar/e/B076V6GJBY

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

SPONSORS

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

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PAVE 008: Polygamous Cult, Child brides, and raising awareness for early and forced marriage with Kerry GibsonPolygamous Cult, Child brides, and raising awareness for early and forced marriage with Kerry Gibson

2018-01-26

Kerry Gibson is planet 5050 champion to UN women and the president of EcoCentury Technologies. With support from UNWomen, politcal leaders and activists she raised awareness for early and forced marriage globally and in North America via the event: Not yet for the dress.

To listen to the podcast you can click the player button above or if you want to listen to the Itunes store please visit: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2&i=1000400774077

About your host:

Alianne is dedicated to the empowerment of survivors of abuse and to support organisations working to end the violence against women and children.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

1:20 how Kerry became involved with UN women

3:00 getting the reward title of 50/50 champion

5:29 childbrides an north America issue

6:40 polygamous cult bountifall

7:50 rasing awareness early forced marriage via the event not yet for the dress

20:28 How a curious message Kerry received resulted in Wellington Chibebe freeing a woman in a labour camp

28:00 how the mindset of her granddad inspires her to this day, the cause of her believe in gender equality

39:00 The impact of Dolly Parton’s quote: The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

MORE ABOUT KERRY GIBSON and NOT YET FOR THE DRESS

Kerry Gibson

https://twitter.com/kerryandlace y

www.ecocentury.ca

Not Yet for the Dress

https://www.facebook.com/events/1866892113529209/?ti=cl

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

SPONSORS

If you want to be a guest on the PAVE podcast, a volunteer working for PAVE, if you are interested in becoming a PAVE sponsor, or want to with us in an other way, email me to see how we can work together to end the violence against women and children.

email: alianne@aliannelooijenga.com

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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PAVE 007: Olivia Crescenzi; I am that girl, Embracing your authentic self, Shifting girl culture

2018-01-19

Olivia Crescenzi is a student at McGill University in Montreal, Canada, about to graduate with a B.Sc in Microbiology and Immunology. Science aside, her greatest passions lies in creating safe spaces for girls and women to embrace and love their true, authentic selves. She hopes to dedicate her life to understanding the human experience, and empowering young girls to stand up and find the power of their voice. Olivia is also a senior intern at I AM THAT GIRL and has been involved with the organization for over two years.

I AM THAT GIRL is an organization helping girls to transform self-doubt in to self-love by providing a safe space to connect and have honest conversations about things that matter. Every day, girls are bombarded with messages that attack what she is NOT and they work every day to help her love who SHE IS; to see that in herself and inspire that in others. This way they are shifting girl culture.

Raising the standards for how girls treat themselves, each other, and the world. By building a community for girls to be seen, be heard, and belong, I am that girl is giving them something bigger than themselves to stand for and creating a healthier, more powerful world.

For listeners with an Apple product: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against-violence-podcast/id1203285774?mt=2&i=1000384639381 is the way to go.

TOPICS DISCUSSED AND ORGANISATIONS/EVENTS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

2:00 How Olivia’s positive upbringing influenced her to find her voice
6:45 I am that girl foundation
7:58 Transforming the epidemic of Self Doubt into an epidemic of Self Love
15:00 unlocking meaningful conversations
17:00 the importance for girls to find themselves and to reckognise how powerful they are
18:41 How Cheryl Strayed and Brené Brown inspired Olivia in her work

MORE ABOUT OLIVIA CRESCENZI and I AM THAT GIRL

https://www.twitter.com/iam thatgirl
https://www.instagram.com/iamthatgirl
https://www.instagram.com/oliviacrescenzi

MORE ABOUT PAVE

https://www.instagram.com/aliannelooijenga

PAVE 005: Empowering women, UNwomen, Ananke magazine with Sabin Muzaffar

2018-01-05

Sabin Muzaffar is the Executive Editor & Founder of Ananke (www.anankemag.com), a digital platform empowering women through advocacy, awareness and education. Sabin has two decades of experience in traditional and new media – starting her professional journey in Karachi, Pakistan. She has worked for and contributed to numerous local & international publications including daily The News International, SPIDER, SHE, Dawn, Gulf News, Khaleej Times, ITP publication, BBVA OPENMIND, International Women’s Initiative and many more.

A collaborator and speaker at many events, Sabin was selected as UN Women’s Empower Global Champion for Women’s Economic Empowerment 2915-2016 and is currently an Empower Women Mentor and partner; in addition to being a Vision Mentor at World Pulse.

In 2014, acknowledging the gaping void in the digital realm in terms of documenting women’s achievements and highlighting HERstories, Sabin founded Ananke magazine. The platform not only covers in-depth articles on topics like women’s health, education, STEM, Law, climate change with a gender perspective; it showcases women as role models for young aspiring women. In 2016, Ananke launched its digital internship program for girls that enables anyone to apply from anywhere in the world. Over 30 girls from countries including Pakistan, Australia, the UAE, US, Kenya, Ghana, Nigeria and Turkey have been mentored over the past 11 months.

Sabin‘s vision is provide a platform for dialogue on Women’s Economic Empowerment and how women can empower other women through collaboration.

For listeners without an Apple product with the “podcast” app, please visit: https://soundcloud.com/user-476654029/episode-005-sabin-muzaffar-unwomen-gender-equality-ananke-magazine-empowering-women to listen to the episode.

For listeners with an Apple product: https://itunes.apple.com/nl/podcast/pave-professionals-against/id1203285774?l=en is the way to go.

Topics discussed and organisations/events mentioned in this episode:

Ananke magazine – an interactive platform, that empowers women through education and awareness
Empower women – a UN entity
World Pulse
Women’s economic empowerment
How Ananke is perceived by the male population in Dubai and UAE’s vision about gender equality, inclusion and diversity.
Patriarchal societies.
The importance of collaboration